1. Love
flirt. is my middle name. so good at it. but sampai situ je lah pun, serials flings, summer love, really close to get into a relationship until it fell apart and ended before it begun. setelah bertahun tahun memikir, I always look for where did I went wrong. Maybe sebab fizikal. yes as I hate to admit, that is the main reason pun. how I wish I could be loved on how smart I am. So yeah. will try to be slimmer before year 2012 end. Tapi ada jugak orang gemuk lain, boleh je jumpa jugak their soulmates despites of that factor. so kita boleh simpulkan itu jodoh. dan who knows I met mine in future. *hope so*
hence. I still need to be smaller in size. not just for soulmate searching purpose only. I am actually worried myself about my weight condition yang makin tak terurus. I don't want to die young. I want to be comfortable in my own skin. bila gemuk sangat ni tak selesa jugak. so yeah.
ada jugak ketakutan somewhere within me, kononnya semacam ada satu sumpahan, perempuan yang berada dalam professi yang aku ceburi ini, banyaknya forever alone *mintak simpang*. choi. sebab I believe I'll be a very good partner, wife, and mom! so yah it scares me. But I always tend to push myself far from thinking of it.
2. Soul searching
Idea ni bukan baru. dah lama sebenarnya.entah. lepas habis diploma rasa macam ada satu kekosongan yang susah nak di terangkan. ada kata it's mid 20's crisis. aku rasa macam my life moved too fast.lepas habis diploma, sambung degree, lepas degree kene cari kerja yang sesuai dengan kelayakkan, sampai aku tak sempat figure things out, myself, what I want in life, who I want to be, what I like now, may differ from what I liked back in my teenager's days, I feel like I want to try everything now that I am not a teenagers anymore. live my life as a young lady in this big playground. a lot of things to yet to be explored and discovered.
aku terpengaruh dengan hanie hidayah, where she took 1 year off from her studies, pergi soul searching, kerja biasa biasa, kumpul duit, backpacking, live a low life, and when she's done, dia balik to reality and continue her studies and graduated.She said she is glad that she did what she did. now she have a very different perspectives on life.
with all of that said. unfortunately it's not the right timing for soul searching I guess. I need to have a stable job for now. but someday I will. drop all this things off, pack up my bag, and took a year off my life. for soul searching.
3. Life
Good. managed to score a job rather than being a contributor to nation's statistics of unemployment. Rezeki Limau orang kata, masa tak ada tak ada sungguh. bila datang bergolek golek. dua offer datang serentak. tempat practical dulu dan sebuah universiti swasta yang gah masa kini. so it's a war between satisfaction over money, which one will I choose? I choose to play safe. but this is just a stepping stone. untuk aku terbang lagi tinggi.
Adapt kepada persekitaran baru always the hardest part. orang kata kita takkan tahu perangai seseorang sampailah kita serumah dengan dia. I say kita tak kan tahu perangai seseorang sampailah kita sepejabat dengan dia. semua orang yang aku sangka di zon selamat, rupanya masih banyak yang belum aku kenal. tapi setakat 2 minggu ni. alhamdulillah. semakin dapat menyesuaikan diri dan menyelamatkan diri dari politik office. I hope it'll get better. Hari hari bangun tidur, selalu betulkan niat, lillahitaala. lillahitaala.
3 things to do today:
i.wake up
ii.survive
ii.go to bed.
basically that is pretty much what my life is all about now. thank you for entertaining my silly thought. au revoire!
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