Never meant to date a rockstar.

so who would you like to date then?
well in my head, I always pictured myself dating someone older, novel-esque men, by older I mean 'men in late 20's- 40's'.
hehe. I can't explain my thing for older men. maybe it is cause by my childish behaviour that only mature men could handle it. not men from same age or younger.being a lady in my mid 20's, I could say I pretty much have some experience on this god creature,  but honestly I never been in a real relationship.  *sebab tak laku*.but I have. been in series of flings, scandals. *bersihpunya* and well in the process to get to know each other. but that was it. nothing serious.in between that, I've met single mens, single but available mens, married men but I still liked to tempt my fate jugak! someone I'm really into but he's not very into me, someone I'm not really into him but he's really fond of me. *godknowswhy*

so here I am now, young lady, just about to start a career, figuring out her life, which direction to go, and once again after so long, I met someone.

TARAA!

He's a rockstar. neyy not really a real rockstar, what I mean is, the attitude,the kind music he listened to, the character, really different from my 'typical ideal men' I've known . In my head, my ideal men is a gentlemen,  wearing a smart attire, simply put he*my ideal man* looks like a James Bond.But this men looks like Steven Tyler with shorter hairdo. He's so different. In fact the way we think is also different, our attitude doesn't match, I am a smart classy lady *at least I'd like to think so* He is rebellious, artsy kind of men, I speak like a machinegun, He speak when necesarry. Not gushing all over me the seconds we knew is also something new to me. previous mens I knew, most of them will praise and worship me like I'm a goddess on earth *sweetalker they are* but not him. see?

of course I am not attracted to him at all. He asked me out few times, I said no. He kept trying but I said no. I'm affraid that we could not blend in together, we're different to begin with. So he gave up. and ignores me totally.

the weird feelings I have is why do I feel something's missing when he ignores me like that? but I am not attracted to him pun, and now, everytime my phone beeps I was hoping its him, padahal bukan aku ke yang reject die? why am I feeling this way? I am not desperate no?

"whatever that is meant to be will find a way."
maybe I was never meant to date a rockstar.
This is new. I don't know what to say. The weird feelings is still there. nah this is just temporary.

so that is all I have in mind. au revoire!