i am physically & mentally tired.broke down totally.

time:9.51 pm
location:145,nilam,uitm segamat,johor.
weather:rainy day but it's all cleared up now.

orang tua selalu berpesan:
kalau jumpa jalan buntu,cari jalan jumpa tuhan.

haa dan kalau ada orang yang selalu melawan pesan orang tua,ni lah orangnya,

orang tua akan selalu jawab:
biasalah..darah muda..

tapi bila sendiri dah rasa jadi tua,barulah malu nak mengaku,
orang tua selalu betul,
semenjak dua tiga minggu ni kadar tekanan darah muda ni tinggi je,
macam macam masalah,macam macam balak yang datang,sampai satu tahap rasa nak angkat bendera,"okay okay!,aku surrender! serious,physical dan mental,exhausted habis,macam kereta break down,macam tu la perasaannya, bayangkan,semua benda jumpa jalan buntu,
teringat pesan orang tua,cari jalan jumpa tuhan,

sekali lagi,orang tua,betul..
bila jumpa tuhan,mengadu semuanya,
dari a-z,serious hati rasa tenang sangat,walaupun jalan tu masih kabur,tapi it soothes you,to at least tell someone,about you that is so under state of break down,and feeling hopeless,
tapi bila jumpa tuhan,you'll feel the hope is there,bila jumpa DIA,it reminds how we like feeling hopefull again,pelik juga,kenapa ada di antara kita yang selalu pertikaikan keadilan tuhan,dan ada yang berjarak bila sebut tentang tuhan,tak pun,ada yang berkata hubungan dia dengan tuhan tak berapa baik,kenapa tak pernah usaha untuk repair hubungan tu dan jadi dekat dengan tuhan?ever think of that?


lepas mengadu,tiba tiba mata tertancap pada skrin notebook,gambar screen saver,my old man and lady,smiling,tiba tiba terasa ada air hangat lalu kat pipi ni,

i always told people i only cry for only important things .and something that touched me the most.this one is one of them.checked.

i may look strong on the outside,but once in a while i'll break down too.


writer's note:
p/s: appologies to my handsome old man and beautiful lady for worrying both of you,i just can't hold myself from dropping that water from my eyes,seriously,and i'm not crying! and i'm still your 'rebellious' daughter,okay!
love you.much.